


Tears of Love

by TheRegularWriter



Series: Even in the clutches of certain doom... you're happy to have each other [12]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Canonical Character Death, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Healing Powers, Hugs, I'm not too sure lmao, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Major Character Injury, Making Up, Or it takes place between I Am My Monster and The Future, Pink Steven Mode, Platonic Relationships, Post-Episode: s01e20 The Future, Recovery, Self-Sacrifice, Self-Worth Issues, Steven Universe Future, Steven-centric, The Off Colors are good friends, These boys are both self-sacrificial idiots, Trauma, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:08:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23328280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRegularWriter/pseuds/TheRegularWriter
Summary: Lars risks his life to save Steven during a space battle. Steven doesn't handle it well.
Relationships: Lars Barriga & Steven Universe
Series: Even in the clutches of certain doom... you're happy to have each other [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573531
Comments: 16
Kudos: 129





	Tears of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Am I really taking the common Whump prompts because canon has disappointed me with the brotherly bonding I crave? I sure am! RIP to Steven Universe, but my canon is different.
> 
> (I'm just kidding, I love the show. Just wish they could've included Lars more...)
> 
> I'm not sure if there are blatant spoilers here, but if you have seen the finale, then you can consider it post-canon - or between I Am My Monster and The Future, I guess.
> 
> By the way, I cannot accept Steven Universe ended for good. We're not gonna get comics post-SUF, not even featuring Lars and the Off Colors ;-; I'll still be writing for the fandom, though! I'm not done with Lars and Steven yet, I'm gonna keep giving them the recognition they deserve. <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy this little thing I wrote! I also hope the pacing isn't too bad, lol
> 
> Fun fact: "tears of love" is the meaning of Lars' birth name!

It’s his fault. This wouldn’t have happened if he were faster, if he could protect them both. He literally has super speed that could have come in handy, but _no_ , that didn’t happen because he’s **_useless_**.

This was supposed to be a fun visit, that was ruined by the reminder of ill-intentioned gems (much like the Lapises he had confronted) that harmed other forms of organic life, and even other gems. Lars and the Off Colors have been on the run to battle those criminals, and with Steven along, it really shouldn’t have gone wrong.

In the end, the Off Colors retreated. There was nothing else they could do, with so many powerful weapons surrounding them… That, and their captain was down.

Steven has isolated himself, far from the room everyone else is in. He’s chosen to face the endless void of space, given that his powers weren’t efficient enough to heal Lars completely. He dislikes imagining the amount of power that… light cannon thing had, to nearly kill him. Lars is technically not a human anymore, so if he were… Steven hated the thought.

Either way, the Off Colors tried to calm him down by suggesting that Lars just needs to rest, and so he would recover soon. At that, the younger boy decided to give them privacy; especially because he can’t see his friend. Eyes closed, unmoving, heart barely beating. He _can’t_.

Until Lars awakens, Steven is swallowed by the thousands of stars outside, a thick layer of glass separating them.

Space has always given him mixed feelings, being the source of his most traumatic experiences, but also showing diversity of world and species, so beautiful, so magnificent. Even then, staring at this void sounded more pleasant than facing an unconscious Lars.

He sighs deeply, cradling his own knees. He shrinks more, almost curling himself into a ball, and stargazes in silence.

(Somewhere, deep in his mind, Steven is brought back to the first time he’s entered his mother’s room. It technically wasn’t the outer space, but endless as it was, he somehow finds himself falling again. Falling, and falling, and falling…)

“Steven?”

He doesn’t jump in fear, simply blinks in distraction. Turning around, he finds the Rutile Twins, Rhodonite and Padparadscha. Fluorite is partially seen, a couple worried eyes entering the room.

“Is Lars awake?” Steven asks, some hope rising, only for it to fade upon the looks on their faces.

They shake their heads. Padparadscha eventually imitates the gesture.

“We wanted to check up on you.” “You were very distraught…” The twins observe in concern.

Steven sighs and looks down. “Yeah.”

“Would you…” “Like to talk about it?”

He doesn’t deny at first. At this point, he _is_ trying to open up more. Steven knows he can count on his friends, even if he’s not as close to the Off Colors as Lars is. He knows.

But something stops him. It seems to block his throat, and thus the words are never said. Steven quietly shakes his head – yet in the very least he doesn’t insist he’s fine, because he isn’t.

“Well, we could stay with you,” Rhodonite suggests. “I-If you want to.”

“Thanks, guys, but… I think I want to be alone right now.” He exhales. “Besides, you should look out for Lars, too.”

The gems don’t protest. They nod in understanding.

“It’s… alright. We will… be close by… if you need,” Fluorite tells him.

“Okay.”

Rhodonite and Fluorite are the first to leave. The Rutile Twins give him supportive smiles before joining the others. As expected, Padparadscha stays longer, yet she takes him by surprise when she approaches and pats his back awkwardly.

“We will leave you alone,” She informs him. “We understand it’s not easy.”

Steven is left gaping at her, before he clears his throat considering she stays for a bit too long to his likening.

“Th-Thanks, Padparadscha,” He mumbles. Although he may be in a rush to be alone, he is grateful for their patience.

At last, the orange Sapphire smiles and walks away. Steven goes back to where he was.

(He’s falling again.)

* * *

When he wakes up, it feels like his body is being crushed by thousands of boulders. Groaning, Lars doesn’t waste too much time recuperating his senses, soon recognizing he’s in his personalized room, where he spends most of his alone time. He’s lying on the single bed beside the wall and realizes he’s shirtless beneath the warm blanket he retrieved from home.

The whispers that once filled the place have become familiar voices, from his beloved gem family. Rhodonite is almost crying and the Rutile Twins try to calm her down, as Fluorite smiles at him in relief. Padparadscha excitedly claims he will be awake soon, and Lars can’t help ruffling her hair in midst of her adorableness.

“Guys, what happened?” He asks, memory not serving him as well as it should.

“W-We were going to take down those Citrines, Captain,” Rhodonite answers. “But they were so skilled, and their weaponry was something I’ve never seen…!”

“You were hit by one of their cannons.” “Just when you jumped to protect Steven…”

Right. Another group of gems committing crimes after the beginning of Era 3. He remembers some of the Citrines, and he’s pretty sure they worked for Emerald. Pieces come back to him, a blinding light being the last thing he saw after he’d pushed Steven away—

“Wait, where’s Steven? Is he okay?” He questions immediately after finding no signs of the boy whatsoever.

“He’s… safe… Captain,” Fluorite calms him.

“He’s waiting in the other room.” “We’ll go get him,” Rutile tells him, and they soon rush outside to get the kid.

Lars exhales in absolute relief, though Padparadscha speaks up.

“He’s fine, despite still… appearing to be upset,” She reveals.

Before he asks, Steven has arrived in front of Rutile, having run all the way there.

“Lars, y-you’re- are you okay?” He rushes to the side of his bed. “How are you feeling?”

The older groans as he moves to sit. “Like crap, but… I’ve definitely been worse.” He snorts painfully. “Are you okay, though? Those Citrines really had us back there.”

Steven frowns for some reason. “I’m fine.”

Lars doesn’t like his tone… It sounds far from okay. He briefly glances at Padparadscha, though the other Off Colors are also aware of the kid’s behavior. Steven refuses to speak again, and so the captain has an idea.

“Hey, maybe you guys should check on the ship while I see how my injuries are,” He suggests. “Who knows if other enemies pop out of nowhere, right?”

Fortunately, they get the message; even though it is a valid course of action when thinking about it.

“Yes, Captain.” “Good idea.”

“Right, I am _not_ looking forward to another disaster like that.” Rhodonite shivers. "I suppose we should call Yellow Diamond to let her know what happened..."

“Great. You guys ring us if you find anything, okay?” Lars winks at them. “We’ll meet up with ya in a bit.”

“Until… then… Captain.”

With the Off Colors out of sight, Steven and Lars are left alone. The former has not said anything since.

“Hey, dude, thought we’d have some privacy… you don’t look too good,” He says as he takes note of the kid’s puffy eyes.

Steven promptly ignores him, frown turning into a full glare.

“What’s wrong? I’m- I’m fine now,” The taller boy reminds him. “Sure, it could be a lot better, but I’m gonna be okay. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten hurt.”

“… I _know_.”

His voice is so quiet and so intense, that Lars feels his stomach dropping.

“Then… what is it?” The space pirate gives a shot.

Steven is clenching his fists as he whispers, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Lars blinks in confusion. “What?”

That _infuriates_ the kid.

“You should’ve just- let it happen! You should have let me take it!” Steven argues, sounding very much perturbed. “Then you wouldn’t be like this!”

For once, he understands why he’s upset.

“Steven, I couldn’t just let you get hurt,” Lars justifies. “There was no time, and there were too many of them—”

“So what?!” The boy raises his voice. “They could have KILLED you!”

“Wha- they could have killed _you_ , too?!” The other feels offended.

“Y-You can’t just jump at danger just because you feel like you can!”

“Oh, like you suddenly _know_ what self-preservation is,” Lars mocks, only to throw more gasoline towards the fire.

“Well, I _have_ been learning what it is! And besides, at least I have defensive AND healing powers! My bones literally heal themselves!”

“And what, that makes it any more okay?”

“Maybe!”

Lars groans. “Dammit, Steven! You’re not supposed to take all the blows on your own-!”

“And neither are you!”

“But I’m still here!” Lars is very much yelling now. “Why isn’t that enough for you?!”

“BECAUSE YOU COULD HAVE DIED **AGAIN**!” Steven glows pink, tone so powerful that it even seems to shake the walls. “AND I COULDN’T STOP YOU **_AGAIN_** _!_ ”

As soon as the room is lit by pink, and tears escape Steven’s dark eyes, Lars’ annoyance fades within a second.

“I wasn’t fast enough to catch you! I was- I was too caught up that… t-that next thing I knew, you weren’t moving, and I couldn’t- I couldn’t do anything, I just _froze!_ ” Steven hiccups. “I failed again! I could have saved you, but you were so _stupid_ , and I was **_even more stupid_** that now you’re h-hurt, and if it weren’t for your pink body, you c-could have…!”

At the growing and aching sobs, Lars feels regret twisting in his gut.

“Steven…”

Stars, what did he _do?_ Of course Steven would be upset. Of course he wouldn’t be okay seeing his friend nearly lose his life for the _second time_. Instead of considering that, Lars just pulled the speech he always chastised Steven for, the exact same hero complex.

“I sh-should have…” Steven can’t complete sentences at this point, because he can’t even breathe, he can’t see anything beneath the tears, pain and trauma.

“Hey, shh…” Lars holds out an arm and pulls him close. “Shhhhh….”

“I c-can’t—” Steven clings to his bare, pink skin. “I can’t lose you again, Lars, I _can’t_ …”

“Oh, Steven…” The other boy wraps both arms around him, fisting his pink jacket. “Dude, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking right.”

It stays like that for a while. Lars mumbles calming nonsense to the kid’s ear, as his hands go up and down his back to help him relax. Steven is mindful enough not to hurt him, but he still holds onto the captain like his life depends on it, like he fears Lars is going to rush into danger again. He has every right to, so the older doesn’t even complain that the hug is lasting too long.

When Steven calms down, he is not holding him like a lifeline anymore, yet he doesn’t let go, either.

“I don’t… I don’t blame you, Lars. You- You saved my life, and- and yeah, it all happened too fast, and I probably would’ve done the same thing, but—” He lets out a shaky breath. “But I was… I was so _scared_ , Lars, I thought you wouldn’t…”

Lars sighs, now running his fingers through the kid’s dark hair, even though it’s still technically pink. “I know.”

It’s yet after a longer amount of time that Lars pulls him away a bit, with some resistance, to face the boy. Steven’s pink state is not as extreme as before, and so the other is wiping some of his tears.

“I’m really sorry, Steven,” He repeats. “I’m gonna be more careful from now on, okay? I promise.”

“I… I’ll try to watch my back better, too. It’s still a work in progress, not being the martyr anymore, and- and not letting the past get to me like that.”

Lars smirks sadly. “Yeah, but you’ve gotten a lot better, dude. Sometimes you’re gonna slip up, but that’s okay. I’m proud of you.”

Finally, Steven smiles back and returns to his natural color scheme. “Thanks… I’m glad to hear that.”

He pats the kid’s arm and they let go, though the younger boy doesn’t leave his side for anything.

“You think you can stand up?” Steven wonders.

Lars exhales in defeat, just thinking about getting out of bed and going up to the controls. “Man, I feel terrible… stupid Citrines…”

“Maybe you should rest more. My powers are probably still going to kick in…” Steven theorizes.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. I should let the others know, though. Just lemme…”

Conveniently, he installed a communicator right beside his bed, so he notifies the Off Colors he’s going to stay there for a little longer. They understand and wish him a good rest, reassuring him that everything is fine for now.

“You gonna stay here?” Lars asks his friend. “’Cause you could go home, too, right?”

“I…” The boy seems hesitant. “I know it’s not been fun like we planned, but I don’t want to leave. Not yet.”

“Yeah, okay. I could use some company.”

Steven nods and proceeds to stand on his knees, so he leans on the bed. Lars frowns at that and struggles to scoot over.

“What are you-?” Steven is ready to protest.

“You’re not staying on the floor.”

“But your bed is—”

“I don’t care. You can sit here. Or, uh, lie down if you want, whatever; but the floor is not an option, understood?”

Steven almost denies again, yet he doesn’t with the captain’s firm stare. Like that, he rolls his eyes and sits by the edge, eyes soon widening in surprise.

“Woah, this is pretty comfortable,” He comments.

Lars grins. “This ship is practically my second home, so it’s gotta be.”

Tentative, the younger is unsure what to do next, only then deciding to lie down. It becomes more obvious just how beat up the kid is. Lars is not sure how long he’s been out, but even then, the whole showdown took a lot out of them both.

Steven gradually relaxes into the mattress. Lars smiles at him.

“Get some rest, Steven,” He mumbles. “You could use some, too.”

The boy complies, takes some of the blanket and… snuggles closer to him. Lars’ stupid grin widens, as he ruffles the kid’s hair. Eventually he looks back at the ceiling and falls asleep, reassured by Steven’s calm breaths.

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon: Lars and Steven are the epitome of this meme --> https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/991/982/3e5.png


End file.
